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Ahoy

It has been a while since I wrote a blog post here on my site. Life has been so hectic because of the holidays and work and other personal matters that I haven’t been able to write my thoughts and comments. However, I do have some free time to write out a small blog entry so I hope you enjoy.

This year has been quite an eventful year. So much has happened, some of which for good and some of which for bad. I won’t dwell on the bad things but sometimes the negative affects are so profound that it is hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. But as you go through that tunnel and start to come out you start to see things that help you accomplish your tasks.

Now I know what you are thinking. What am I rambling on about? I tell you is that no matter how much bad stuff happens, there is always something good from it. Now most of my close friends know me well enough that I always look at the bad stuff. I dwell on the crap that has happened and I don’t look for the good. Most of the time that is true and the rest of the time that isn’t.

2009 was a interesting year with a lot of ups and downs. It was a giant emotional roller coaster, not for me but for most of my friends. This year hasn’t been the best of years but it is coming to an end and this chapter of our lives is closing and the 2010 chapter will begin and hopefully bring us property and good fortune and happiness.

I, myself, personally is looking forward to this new year. I hope things will go better than last year and that I, my family and my friends find good fortune, happiness, and good luck for the future.
Anyways, Here is an update of what has been happening. I have been working my 40 hours a week. Staying home with the family on my days off. I haven’t hung out with Drakenfyre75, Illzev, Dekkard, Bonedaddy, Moroii for about 3 months now because of the damn accident I was in back in October. I am currently loosing mind. I would love to hang out with my friends but I currently can’t do that because of car situation and work and what not.

Other than that, Work has been unusually busy. I suspect that to because of the Christmas Holiday.  But I guess that will happen.

I spent My Christmas Eve at my brothers house from 3 to 7pm. I had a good time. I got Beatles: Rock Band for the wii and I was able to give the gifts I bought my neices and nephew as well as my brother and Sister in-law. After that I went to my Aunts house till about midnight. It was decent but I would of rather stood at my brothers house (ironic I know).

Christmas Day I worked. I had a nice dinner catered in and It was pleasant to only take 3 inbound calls. But that is alright. I made up for the long call times the next couple of days with a solid 20 calls in the queue at any time day.

Other than work and spending time with the rents. I have been working my ass off on getting windows 7 installed on my desktop pc. My desktop pc is fighting me every chance it can get. BSOD’s, Errors, Restarts, lock-ups, reinstalls. I am having a hard time to get it to work. Working with the bios, I am about take the fucker apart and rebuilt the god damn pc from the ground up. But in order for me to do that I need money for parts if I need them.

I am figuring I need memory and hard drives. At this point in time. I must of re-installed windows 7 about 30 times and I am still no where. Now I cant even’t install onto the hard disk. I either get a Blue screen or a stupid error. Damn this machine for having new hardware that I don’t have spares yet.

I will get this bugger fixed I will get it to install windows 7 even if I have to try every possible resource and tactic in my arsenal.

Other than working on that PC, I have been working on my home linux server as well. It is being a dick too but not as much as that desktop of mine. Anywho, I am in the process of installing Ubuntu Server, with Gnome Desktop so that I can run numerous Virtual Machines on it like my bind dns server, A.M.P (apache, Mysql, PHP) web server, FTP, Samba, Domain Controller servers so that I can learn how to properly deploy them.

I know what you are thinking, why am I going into so much trouble. I can tell you. I am sad. I am bored, I need to keep myself Occupied. This is helping me keep my mind off of things and It is helping me keep my sanity. What Can I say, I have no social life right now because of some unfortunate events.  But I hope that will change in less than 22 hours.
I think it is late. it is 3 Am and I am tired. I am going to go to bed. I got some things to do tomorrow on the Eve of the New Year. I will buy some Alcohol, Get some things for the house and pay some bills. WORK ON That BLASTED PC and try to get some other things done. For now I bid you all Adieu.

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Hi;

Naota is back and I am writing an update of the past couple of days since most of the updates on this blog are either twitter posts or news from the HV Anime Club Main page.

Lately, I have been busy doing things around the house as well as working at my Full Time job. It has been quiet the past couple of weeks. Ever since the accident I have been spending more time at the house and less out with my friend.  I do humbly apologize that I am not spending time with them, but, I need to work on getting my car fixed so that I can travel a bit more freely.

Now back to the update. I have ordered the headlights for my car. There was a good deal on E-Bay for a pair of 2003 Chevy Impala head lights with light bulbs and I was able to buy it for 94 dollars with free shipping. Since I ordered it on a Thursday and it will most likely be shipped via US Postal Service ground I should get it within 7-9 days. That would be after Thanksgiving.

That’s not bad considering that it should only take me about 10 minutes to swap the head lights on the car if it decides to play nice.  I still need to get a new bumper, grille, hood and that should be all for the parts. Hopefully, there won’t be any other unforeseen expenses with this car. I just want to be able to take off and bolt on the new parts. I guess if there is, I will have to deal with it slowly.

Other than ordering the head lights for the car and paying my bills, I was able to order a copy of Evangelion 1.01: You are not alone on DVD and a Ayanami Rei Figurine with the Lance of Longinus from Amazon.com for 35 bucks. I decided It was time to treat myself with a good movie and anime Collectible to show off on my desk.

With the last post that I wrote about the Anime Series Kanon I got in the mood for Taiyaki and Nikuman. Taiyaki is a Japanese desert that is similar to a pancake but stuffed traditionally with a sweetened bean paste cooked in the shape of a fish. Nikuman is a Japanese Pork Bun. It is similar to a Chinese steamed Dim Sum but bigger for the most part.
I have found the recipes for the Taiyaki batter and filling as well as the nikuman dough and filling. After doing my research, I ordered a Taiyaki-Ki and the ingredients for the Taiyaki. I cant wait for it come in. I would like to cook it as soon as possible. I ordered it on Thursday and it is coming via fed ex ground and it should arrive a little after thanksgiving. If that is the case I will perfect my technique and have it ready by Christmas time to add a oriental twist to the holidays.

As for the pork buns, I will take my time with that and practice the techniques over the next couple of months. I need to work on one thing at a time. So that I am not bogging myself down with everything.

Another thing that I am working on is learning how to speak Japanese. I have some software, books, and a decent lesson plan and I will work on it slowly so that I can learn the language and learn how to read and speak it well. The main reason why is that I would like to go to Japan. I want to take a trip to Tokyo and visit places like Shibuya and possibly Osaka. I want to be able to take a nice vacation abroad and experience the Culture of Japan and have a good time doing it.

I think that would be an awesome thing to do. I mean I already have my passport, I got a decent job. I can save some money up bit by bit and when I get higher up on the senority list at work and my vacation time gets up to 3 to 4 weeks and if I am good enough with my speaking, reading and what not I Can take a trip to the land of the Rising Sun.
That is my goal. I think it is a good goal. I think it is an achievable goal to do. And, I think it would be a great ting to do and have a good time doing it.

Other than that there is nothing much new here. I am waiting for my RC Truck parts to come back in so I can repair my truck so that I can enjoy racing the truck after work and work on it because it is hobby.
In the upcoming weeks, I will posts my experiences of cooking the taiyaki and let you know how it is, how it tastes, and there could possibly be some videos.  But, we shall see. Since Thanksgiving is coming up, there may be a lack of posts here and possibly on my homepage at www.hudsonvalleyanime.com but, don’t worry, I will be back.

On that not, I wish everyone a Happy and Safe Holiday Season.

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Hey Everyone;

Naota here just witting down his thoughts about his past two days off.

Yesterday was a decent day off. After work I went to Lord Moroii’s house and picked him up so that we could hang out. Next, we went to Walmart at 2 in the morning to look at magic the gathering card. Once we were finished with the early morning magic escapades, we went to QuickCheck and then to my house. Upon arriving back to my house, we horsed around online and worked on some SETI@HOME and FOLDING@HOME projects. At 4 am it was time to go to sleep.

After waking up around 12 noon, I finished straightening up my room. Moroii and I played some magic and went to the store with my mom for some last minute shopping. During the shopping escapes we picked up guitar strings and a video game for my nephew for his birthday. At 5 we went to the Newburgh Buffet for dinner where we met up with the Yamaharider and Drakenfyre75 for dinner.

While at the Chinese restaurant we had some decent Chinese food and we caught up on recent events and enjoyed the good time with each other joking and laughing and just being ourselve.

After dinner we went to my brothers house for my nephews birthday party. It was nice. He turned 9 years old and I gave him my old acoustic guitar with a tuning peg winder and a pic. My  mom got him Ghost busters game for the wii and he had a great birthday.

Next, we went to my house where all 4 of watched the first 2 episodes of kekko kamen and the 1/2 of the first episode of SGT. Frog. We laughed out asses off and had a great time. After a while horse assing around Drakenfyre75 and Yamaharider needed to get going. Moroii and I walked both of them to Yamahariders car and we talked for about another hour outside.

Now at this time it will be most of our last time hanging with Moroii because he is moving down to Florida. But that was part of my last major blog.

After they left moroii and I went back to the house to warm up for being outside in the cold for over an hour an then I dropped him off at his house.

Once I got home, I started working on Moroii’s going away gift. I am taking some old computer parts lying around in my house and I am going to build him a computer so he can use when he is in Florida.

After some trouble with a windows xp install I decided to go to bed at 2 in the morning and work on the computer the next day.

Once I woke up I started working on his computer again. after some extensive trouble shooting I had to replace the motherboard and dvd rom drive because they weren’t working properly. After about 3 hours of work, i was able to get the o/s installed and working. I spent more time installing updates and I am working on finishing up the computer system by installing software he needs and optimising the computer so it will run at its fastest.

So far his New To You Rebuilt Slightly Used computer has some decent specs.

Lord Moroii’s Computer Specs

  • AMD Athlon 950MHz Processor
  • 1Ghz pc2100 memory
  • 40 Gigabyte Hard drive
  • GForce4MX 440 64MB Video card
  • Windows X.P
  • Logitech Messenger Webcam

As you can see the computer is not as fast as todays standards. But the computer is good for what his computing needs are. If I should get a hold of bigger and faster hardware. I will most likely build him another computer. But until that time comes I know this will work well for him.

Now I am just finishing up a post install Virus Scan on his computer to make sure there is nothing out of place and I need to finish working on some other items on some of my other pc’s.

So now it is time for me to get going.

Good night Everyone.

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Hey everyone:

Naota here with another personal blog entry. I haven’t written a blog of this nature in quite time and I thought it was long over due. So I now write some random thoughts and possible items that frosts my muffin. No I don’t care if anyone reads this blog but I need to vent some steam off so I am writing it down. If I get any legit comments and concerns great, its a plus, if not oh la-ti-da well. Shit happens.

Lately, I have been down. Not like sitting down or laying down, or getting down and boogie. I mean just down. feeling sad and depressed. I know depression is serious and what not, but I find writing down my emotions online in my own little world do help and that is what I am currently doing right now.

Last week I finished watching the anime series Shuffle. The series is a great series. It has a great Deal of comedy, a good story line, some standard predictable moments and a decent ending. While watching the Shuffle I was paying attention to some of the dialogue that the characters were saying.  After listening to the dialogue and replaying it a couple of times I had to agreed to what the dialogue was.

In the series the main character makes a startling epiphany in which he realised his major flaw. His flaw was making everyone around him happy. While he tried doing it, he was blind to what was going on. He was blind to see that he was hurting his friends as well as himself. He stated something that I think was pretty good and hold true. “I try to make everyone happy. In doing so I hurt the ones I love as well as myself. I need to make myself happy for once.”\

That was the plain gist of what the main character in shuffle was conveying.  After watching that scene, I stopped the series at the point and I started to think. Now mos of you know that when i start to think, I start to get in trouble mentally and I think of crazy and stupid things that can potentially get me in trouble.

While analysing the meaning that the main character was conveying, it really clicked to me. It reminded me of how I am. I guess what he said was true. I feel like that is what is happening to me. I try to make everyone happy. Make them laugh and have fun and what not and I wind up making them happy or enjoy the company and what not and I myself is put to the back burner. Basically, I am not happy. I make everyone happy but my happiness is not there.

Now I know what your saying, Naota, you look like your always happy. You crack those jokes, you laugh, you hang out with your friends, you seem to be doing okay. But, now in reality, it is much different. I am a man who wears many masks. Facades. I put on many facades to indicate different moods.

When I am with friends I have one façade. When I am with co-workers or customers there is another façade. Another for family, and others for different occasions.

Now you may look at me and say you look happy, you look like your enjoying your time. In most cases, I am having fun, I am enjoying my time. But deep down inside, I am not happy. No, not at happy. It eludes me. It runs away like a runnaway train  Its like the lyrics to Soul Asylum’s song Runaway Track.

Call you up in the middle of the night
Like a firefly without a light
You were there like a slow torch burning
I was a key that could use a little turning

So tired that I couldn’t even sleep
So many secrets I couldn’t keep
Promised myself I wouldn’t weep
One more promise I couldn’t keep

It seems no one can help me now
I’m in too deep
There’s no way out
This time I have really led myself astray

CHORUS
Runaway train never going back
Wrong way on a one way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I’m neither here no there

Can you help me remember how to smile
Make it somehow all seem worthwhile
How on earth did I get so jaded
Life’s mystery seems so faded

I can go where no one else can go
I know what no one else knows
Here I am just drownin’ in the rain
With a ticket for a runaway train

Everything is cut and dry
Day and night, earth and sky
Somehow I just don’t believe it

CHORUS

Bought a ticket for a runaway train
Like a madman laughin’ at the rain
Little out of touch, little insane
Just easier than dealing with the pain

Runaway train never comin’ back
Runaway train tearin’ up the track
Runaway train burnin’ in my veins
Runaway but it always seems the same

With that Said and done. It makes sense on what was conveyed on that anime series. I am sad. I am not happy. In fact I am actually empty inside. Why do you think I work on so many projects I work on? I work on HV Anime, – Echelon Computers, Computer repair, Networking, RC Cars, and other projects. I do it to keep my mind active and Not to think on the bad things. Like the things that I am missing and what not.

Now For the most part I am depressed cause I don’t have a girlfriend. I am longing for love and affection. That is different than the attention and fun i get with friendships but it doesn’t complete me. I am not fully whole. there is a piece of me missing in which I am trying to fulfil.

When I go out and see other people in a relationship. I cringe. I look at them and I think, That is what I want. Sometimes it makes me mad. Mad like WHEN WILL IT BE MY TURN. Other Times I will be like Get the fuck away from me, I don’t want to see it. At that point in time, I get sad and I don’t talk. I kind of space out and become quiet.

That is when I think. WHY oh Why am I forsaken like this. When Will it be my turn to be happy. I want to be happy. I don’t want to be depressed. It sucks balls.

Now I have tried looking for a girlfriend, I have tried not looking, I done almost everything. Still no luck. Now I Know things work out in mysterious ways. But I get mad and sad where I just go and sit by myself and become self loathing and even more depressed.

Like right now when I am writing this, I am struggling to come up with words to write my emotions down on an electronic media. But It does feel better to get this out off my chest. Perhaps I can get a better nights sleep now without any interruption of bad dreams and my mind wandering.

I guess I will have to see if I can Aim to make myself happy. But I cannot guarantee anything at this point in time. But I guess only time will tell.

Another Item that is making me depressed is that a good buddy of mine is moving away. Lord Moroii is moving down to the east coast of florida. Yes Florida. 1250+ miles away from where he is now. That fucking sucks major balls. It will suck not being able to hang out with him. Play card games, Video Games, Drink Alcohol and just enjoy life with.

I have given my express and views about his situation. Hell I have given him my opinions about him moving away and tried my fucking hardest to persuade him to stay. I have offered him the opportunity to stay at my house. There is plenty of room and he could stay here close to his good friend and family and still have a place to stay.

Now his decision is final. I still feel bad that he is moving and I couldn’t of persuaded him to stay but I will have to use my own cliché. “You have to do what you have to do.” He will be missed but I know where he will be, I will do my best to visit so have fun with him and our other friends. But It won’t be the same when he leaves here.

Our clique will have an empty hole in it. But I guess that would be inevitable since he is moving. I hope he moves back up here because I know this is hurting at least 5 people up here with him moving out of state.

But there is one thing I can assure you, We will keep in touch with Him and I know I will make it an effort to go down and visit him on some of my vacation time from work.

Now with that said and done I have yakked my mouth off too much. now it is 1500 words and this so far is my longest post. I hope this sheds some light on when you look at me and ask if things are alright and I give a smirk and nod yes. It just means that there is allot on my mind and I am not going to talk about it.

It is now 1:44 am, I am going to finish setting this post up and go to bed. I have work tomorrow and I am not really looking forward to it. But I need the money. The bills don’t pay themselves. And that may be another possible blog entry. Who knows. I guess we shall see.

Naota: out…

blighei
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Hey everyone;

Your lovable webmaster is back from a couple of weeks  off. The past week I have been in the process of moving so my schedule to write and participate on my website have been drastically reduced to null. Afer we moved to the new Apartment we didn’t have any cable service. That Meant that we had no tv, phone or internet. So I Couldn’t write any blogs. I could of used face book on my phone to write small status updates and have it update my blog didn’t seem right to do.

Anyways. We moved to the new apartment. The moving men had all the furnature  and heavy boxed moved within 3 hours.  After that we went to have some breakfast since we were up since 7:30 that day. Came back home and took a nap to find out the Central Hudson cut out power off by mistake. Had to wait 3 hours or so for them to get it turned back on. We settled in for the night and started moving more boxed the next day.  At that time we still had alot of work to do. I went to work on friday and had to take an emergency day to clean the rest of the apartment by sunday night.

We were able to do so. That is nice but we had no internet. That really sucked major balls.  1 week goes by and we keep unpacking and getting things set up.  I was able to get my services scheduled to be installed on my day off and I was able to get my room fully unpacked and mostly organized by September 17th.

Now for some of you who don’t know me that well. My father and my birthday is on the 17th of september.  We had the service installed at 10 am and wasn’t fully completed by noon.  The Tech ran a dedicated line to my room and to the other bedrooms. The service works great. I spent time with my family on that day and Had some friends over for birthday cake and mechwarrior.   We had a lot of fun. I had a 8000 point team while Moroii and Mike had 4000 point teams.  Mike won, i got 2nd and Moroii got last. I don’t think we lost. We all won cause it was something to do and we had fun.

On a bright note. My cosplay is nearly complete.  This weekend I will be putting the finishing touches on Lero and on the Earl.  I hae ordered the Tickets and we have less than a week to go to the con.  SO I will now get going. I am tired. I had a long day at work I am now tired. I will keep everyone updated.

Good night.

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